Thank you for your thoughtful heart filled message. I was deeply touched by so many things. My thoughts, feelings and spirit took flight as I started writing my response inwardly even before turning on my computer. In particular I loved your comment, “STOP here. …S. It’s enough.” I smiled. I do that too. Yet, your message was communicated to the core of my being. I am so glad that you did not stop yourself before that moment in time!
I did write that I was just an ordinary person; yet, in the back of my mind my heart/my soul/my connection to God told me that this was not true. As you said, “If we believe we are ‘the reflection of God’ then we are extraordinary. We are unique travelling on the Earth with different struggles.” That is so very true.
That is what my new journey is about; walking with people as they walk on their unique paths navigating individual struggles. My new journey isn’t exclusive to nurses any more, nor is it to International Professionals; but, it is about walking with the people God brings to me who are ready and willing to grow personally and professionally – regardless of nationality and occupation. It is so very exciting to see how God is using my experiences working with nurses and asking me to do the same for so many others. And yet, although our struggles are individual many of them are common. Not only that, the answers are pretty much the same. It is about:
- facing fears,
- finding balance,
- health and wellness,
- stress management, and/or
- time management.
Those have been the main messages I have written about repeatedly to nurses in response to their e-mails, that have become tags on my blog, Dear Kim. That is why CELBANPrep was never really about English; it has always been about so much more.
You know, when I created CELBANPrep I had so many other dreams. I wanted to work with other Internationally Educated Professionals as well, and eventually I wanted to open a retreat centre where families could come to prepare for their individual exams: all occupations. I envisioned multiple buildings for various courses, cabins for housing. And I envisioned fun activities for families and children between sessions: canoeing, kayaking, snow shoeing, arts and crafts, archery. I envisioned community growing among and between people of all nations and all disciplines. And I imagined my daughter working there in whatever capacity: in the kitchen (she loves to cook), in the art room with the children (she loves both), leading nature walks, teaching, carpentry – whatever her heart desired and whatever path it lead her on.
But, it took so much time to create CELBANPrep. Six versions in six years, because of the changes in technology. And still there were people that were so unkind who criticized me because of this and that, or others who told me how to teach! OMGosh! I had created a process with an exceptionally high passing score: if people were willing to follow me and were willing to do the work. But some people wanted it their way. So there is also pride, lots of pride preventing people from obtaining their dreams and goals. Where does the pride come from? Ego based fears.
So I have learned, over time, that there are six main issues that we all deal with on our individual journeys: facing fears, finding balance, health and wellness, hope, stress management, and/or time management. (But then stress management is health and wellness and time management is about finding balance, so it really comes down to four: fear, balance, wellness, hope.)
When it comes to your question and your uncertainty, your situation, the answer lies in one of these four areas. Is your lack of peace as a result of fear? a lack of hope? a need for balance? or a need for self-care and wellness?
As a mother I have found that often the answer lies in acceptance, which is a combination of the need for balance and the need for self-care and wellness. And in the end it comes down to time management: accepting God’s plan and His timing for us.
You are a mother. You are a mother of a young baby. They are only young for so long. And you have a growing boy. That alone tells me that you are experiencing a great deal of stress with a very high need for self-care and wellness. Yet we as mothers, we as care-givers, we as nurturers spend so much time and energy on others we sometimes tend to neglect our own needs: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. And yet when we integrate a strong level of self care we have more energy, love and light to give. Otherwise we become depleted and burn out. So many nurses and teachers experience this. Parents experience this too.
We must take time for ourselves. You know that I write this not just as words but also by my actions. You know that I have taken time to heal, before taking on my purpose of serving others. You know that I have been patient with myself. I have loved myself. I have accepted my limitations. I have placed boundaries around what I could and could not do. And I tell you, there are many people who have been upset with me; but, what could I do? I had to take care of myself.
If you have read my blog, you know I have had exceptional compassion for parents, Busy Moms and Dads. You know that I have said repeatedly, and will til the day that I die: our families are important. They are the most important. Time with them, watching them grow, celebrating their achievements, supporting their transitions, being there when things don’t turn out as expected. This is our role as parents, which comes first.
The most important thing that has carried me through what I have experienced the past few years is the knowledge that I spend time with my daughter; meaning, I didn’t experience the regret that so many parents do that they didn’t spend enough time with their children. I worked in survival jobs so that I could be there with her. I planned my education and employment around her schedule. And I accepted living the kind of lifestyle I could afford, to be with her. I don’t own a house: never have. I don’t own a car: never did. Those were never my priority: she was.
I created CELBANPrep so that I could be home with her, and work when she was at school or asleep. As soon as she came home, my computer was closed… except for evenings when I had speaking conferences. But she was older then, and loved supporting me as I did my work. If you read Remember UR Passion you will see that.
So what I can tell you, S, is this: take time to yourself. Take time to ensure that your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs are met. Do this until you find a space of calm within yourself. Then ask yourself, connect with God, for direction.
When you feed your body, mind, heart and soul: in unity they will direct you. You will have the answers you need. And you will go forward in strength and confidence regardless of what happens around you because you Know with every fiber of your being what you are to do, and when.
That is what I would do. That is how I would plan, beginning to Passion Plan only once I have a clear understanding of what my Spirit is directing me to do. That may take time. It may take time to get to a space to be healthy enough to hear the gentle whisperings of your Spirit, that is communing with God. It may take time to discern what path you are to take. And it may take time to combat the fears that arise along the way. Being patient with yourself. Accepting your limitations as a human being with a physical body, in an imperfect world surrounded by imperfect people, accepting yourself as one of those imperfect beings. All of these are pieces of the puzzle that take time to manifest.
It has taken me a year to determine my new path. The unexpected twist came last weekend when I received guidance on how to integrate CELBANPrep with the new path that unfolded before me. And look at me go!
When we are on task, when we are on our path, when we are in alignment with the purpose God created us for: we have the time, we have the energy, we have the resources we need – all of them!
You wrote, “As I can see you went through a lot and still dreaming and achieving many things.” That statement touches me deeply. That is how God is using me to instill hope in others. I feel overwhelmed knowing that He would use me, an extra-ordinary ordinary person (:) to do that.
Each and every one of us has been created for a specific purpose. Each and every one of us has Individual Worth, because of our Divine Natures. My daughter has been my purpose and motivation for so many years. Now that she had re-entered the Angelic realm to be with her Father in Heaven, I have had to take the time to determine what my purpose is and from where I will get my motivation. Knowing that our story does “gently encourage [you] and push forward” brings me to tears.
Your words, your message, the fact that you took time to both read and write: all of that feeds my heart and my soul. My motivation can not come solely from within.
I need to know that people are reading. I need to know that people are impacted. I need to know that people find hope or courage or will: acceptance, peace and self-love. I can not do this alone. I need your hugs, your blessings, your prayers.
It is this love that I received from throughout the world that carried me forth to this place that I can lead once again.
We are all in this together!
P.S. If this piece has inspired you in any way: if it helped you, maybe it will help others. Please like it, share it, or comment!