CT4 THE DISILLUSIONED DREAMER – ♥ it feels like theres something lacking on me – sometimes feeling emptiness.

Updated this week

Hi Kim!  Before im working as a Live in Caregiver and got my open work permit last December  now i’ve started working as an HCA … but got in my thoughts in everytime i am giving a care to the Residents i am glad & enjoying with them but at the same time feels like theres something lacking on me because i can’t function as what i am doing before as a Nurse. These makes me sad on the other part and sometimes feeling emptiness. Can you please what advise you can give me i am now ready for a Review at you for CELBAN.


Dear S,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me. What a long journey you are on, working for at least two years as a live in care giver and now as a Health Care Aid. It is so far away from the hopes and dreams that you had for yourself, when you decided to become a nurse. Yet here you are, willing to do the time and take care of our family members (young and old) in your facility.

Sometimes you probably wonder what you are doing, why you are doing this, and if you will ever reach your dream of being a nurse here in Canada.

How do I know this, because there are hundreds of people experiencing what you are experiencing across Canada. But know this, there have been hundreds of people who have experienced exactly what you are experiencing now, who are graduate nurses preparing for the NCLEX or are presently working as RN’s. They have made it, and so can you.

But know this, S. Not everyone who is a nurse back home, that comes to Canada, becomes a nurse here in Canada. Not every nurse takes the smooth path before them, smoothed by the individual steps of all the individual nurses that have taken this path before you and cleared it of boulders and fallen trees. Some choose harder paths, that have not been cleared. Others choose very very long paths. Others change paths and go in another direction altogether.

Question is, which are you going to choose?

I have met many many Internationally Educated Nurses, and I

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have walked with them on the various paths available. And I have seen the qualities in those IENs who make it and become RNs in Canada: they are diligent and dedicated to their goals. Even though they have family and need to balance responsibilities; even though they have set backs like illness, divorce, family issues back home, they continue on their path.

Some times the steps they take are small. Sometimes the steps are infrequent. Still they continue to walk on the path towards their dreams: making sacrifices along the way.

Only those who are willing to dedicate time, energy, and money achieve their goals.

So please, think about these things the next time you are feeling that empty hollowness. It is a message from your inner being, your heart and soul, that while what you are doing right now is good and important and valuable you have skills and abilities that the world needs. Your heart and spirit are reminding you of your value, attempting to kindle the flame of desire to awaken what is now dormant and use those skills and abilities to serve your new family in Canada. Honoring your inner knowledge and wisdom will provide the commitment, dedication and tenacity you will need to become a nurse in Canada. Allow it to sleep and you will forever know you have not filled your potential, the gifts you were given to care for those suffering and in need.

Will you be able to live with that knowledge?

No. I don’t think so. If that knowledge is knocking on the door of your heart, asking you to act, then it is not willing to be quiet right now. But ignore it, miss the opportunity that is open to you right now, and one day you will realize you no longer hear the knock on the door. You will realize that the opportunity has passed. And you will feel sadness, regret and maybe even shame.

It is your choice, which path you choose. It is your choice as to what you will do with your life. As you consider your options, know this: no matter how difficult the path is, no matter what you have to endure to reach your goals, no matter the sacrifices; once you are doing what you have been created to do, using the skills, talents, gifts and abilities you possess you will discover your individual worth with a deep knowledge of why you were born, why you were created and why you are here on earth at this time. You will grow a sense of self that can not be achieved any other way.

And when you do, you become a candle in a window  on a dark night for strangers wandering in the night.

You are already doing that for the people you are caring for as a HCA, and you can do even more as an RN.

May you trust your inner knowledge and the whispering of your spirit.



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