I have been thinking so long to write you. Today I finally found the courage.
Kim, I feel stuck. I feel overwhelmed. I want to be a nurse again, here in Canada, but this English exam… it feels like a big mountain in front of me. I keep asking myself, “Do I take the IELTS again? Or should I try CELBAN?”
To be honest… I already took IELTS two times. I studied hard. I even went to coaching class. But still, my scores are not enough. Sometimes it’s writing, sometimes speaking. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel tired, I feel discouraged. I don’t want to waste more money, more time. But still… I don’t want to give up.
One friend told me, “Why not try CELBAN?” I didn’t even know about it before. I start searching online and that’s how I found you. Your words… they touch my heart. You understand our struggle. Not just the English, but everything behind it. The sacrifice, the fear, the dreams.
Kim, I’m not confident anymore. I feel like I lost something. My English is not so strong… I make many mistakes. I get nervous when I speak. I forget words. I translate from my language and then the grammar come out wrong. I used to be proud of my knowledge… now I feel small, like a child again. It’s hard to explain, but I know you will understand.
I want to prepare, I want to study… but I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know which exam is better for me. IELTS feels so academic… so many topics I don’t even use in my real life. I’m a nurse. I know how to care for people. But how to explain a graph about recycling or education systems? I feel lost.
Maybe CELBAN is better? More about what we actually do in hospital? More practical? But is it harder? Is it too late for me to change? I feel scared.
I want someone to guide me. Step by step. Gently. Patiently. I don’t want to memorize… I want to understand. I want to feel confident again. Not only to pass an exam, but to speak with patients, to write reports, to feel like myself again in this new country.
Kim, thank you for reading my words. Thank you for your kindness. Your voice gives me hope when mine is shaking. I pray that God will show me the right path… and maybe, He is using you to do that.
With deep gratitude, J
Dear J,
You began: “Kim, I feel stuck.”
What a brave place to begin.
This is not just about tests. This is about truth. About what it means to carry knowledge in your bones… but feel like the words won’t follow.
You are not alone in this place. And you are not behind. You are standing in the liminal space between what you already know—and what you’re learning to name.
Let us walk this spiral together. Slowly. Gently. With breath.
🜄 Return to Self
When the heart remembers who it is, even when the world forgets
You wrote: “I used to be proud of my knowledge… now I feel small, like a child again.”
And oh, how many nurses whisper this when no one is watching.
But I want to speak back to that tender place in you: You are not small. You are someone who has crossed oceans, survived systems, and stayed kind.
This “child-like” feeling… it is not failure. It is the body asking for safety. It is your nervous system remembering how it once learned to protect you.
You are still a nurse. You are still wise. You are still worthy. The knowing has not left you. It is simply waiting… to come home.
🜁 Fog to Clarity
When confusion softens into understanding
There is a question many ask quietly, the same one you have carried:
“IELTS or CELBAN?”
Let’s unfold that gently: not as a test to choose, but as a rhythm to feel.
IELTS is international. It was not designed with nurses in mind. Its questions, vocabulary, and writing prompts are academic, often unrelated to the clinical world you know. It measures English through topics like recycling systems and economic theories.
CELBAN, by contrast, is Canadian and was created for health professionals. Every task you complete in the CELBAN reflects the kind of language you’d actually use… with patients, in charting, in reporting.
This means the skills you already carry (reading medication orders, listening to patient concerns, documenting clearly) these become your curriculum.
The grammar is the same. The punctuation is the same. But the context is different. One asks you to perform knowledge. The other invites you to demonstrate care.
This is not about choosing what’s easier. It’s about choosing what’s truer to who you are.
🜃 Rooted in Enoughness
When the body is reminded: “You are already enough.”
You wrote: “I don’t know where to start.”
Let that be okay.
When we are dysregulated, it is not because we are weak; it is because we are wise. The body is trying to protect us from repeating old harm. Especially the kind that says: “You’re not good enough.”
But your body knows how to listen. Your mind knows how to learn. Your heart knows how to care.
You are not starting from zero. You are starting from experience. From years of practice, presence, and patient care.
All that’s needed now is a scaffold. Not pressure. Not perfection. Just gentle, steady steps that return you to your voice.
CELBAN was designed for this. Not as a replacement for IELTS, but as a refuge: for those who know the language of compassion but need help expressing it in English.
🜂 Rekindling the Inner Fire
When spirit remembers its own courage
You asked: “Is it too late for me to change? I feel scared.”
Here is something sacred: fear doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you care. It means your dream still lives.
And your dream is not just to pass a test. It is to return to the place where you feel like yourself… in the report room, at the bedside, in the nurse’s station. It is to reclaim your voice not only for a score, but for the stories of others.
Let that longing burn steady… not as a flame that exhausts, but one that warms. One that lights the way.
Step by step. Breath by breath. Not fast. But faithfully.
🜀 Standing at Zenith
When clarity, courage, care, and calling converge
You wrote: “I want someone to guide me. Step by step. Gently. Patiently. I don’t want to memorize… I want to understand.”
That is the kind of learner who becomes a transformational nurse. That is the kind of preparation CELBAN was meant to invite: not memorization, but mastery. Not speed, but sustainability.
Let this be your compass:
Not which exam is better.
But which path brings you back to the kind of nurse you long to be.
CELBAN is not perfect. It still takes preparation. But it is a test that respects who you already are. A test that meets you in the hospital, not just the classroom.
And no, J. It is not too late.
The fact that you still long… That you still ask… That you still pray…
Means your path is not closed. It is opening.
I am honored to walk beside you.
With quiet courage, With breath, With belonging, ~ Kim
If you are looking for personal guidance and heartfelt advice on your CELBAN journey, then ‘Dear Kim’ is a perfect choice. Follow Dear Kim for a wealth of insights and answers to your questions.
If you are keen to master healthcare grammar, these English Language Mastery for Health Professionals books are available in the following marketplaces:
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CELBANPrep’s English Language Mastery program is designed to help Internationally Educated Health Professionals achieve the level of language proficiency you need to succeed in your careers in Canada.
Let their stories inspire yours! Return to your Self: transforming fog into clarity, becoming rooted in enoughness, and rekindling the fire within, so that you stand centred at your zenith: with hope, confidence, and grace.
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🎕 I PASSeD MY CELBAN!!! I’m so happy I subscribed to CELBANPrep=)🎕 I took CELBAN, first attempt I failed….I got the confidence to overcome my fear of writing🎕 I passed my Celban exam the first time…I attempted IELTS twice. 🎕 After 3x failing the IELTS, I finally passed my CELBAN exam in the first attempt!♥ I don’t have the confident, I feel that I will fail [the CELBAN]🜂 I am a 7 months postpartum Mom…when will I start🜃 Do you have an ideas of how a busy mom with a toddler can study? Horaaaaaaaaay, I did it [wrote a perfect report for CELBAN Writing] in 20 minutes
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