Update 2021
Dear Friends,
This comes from a posted assignment, for the CELBANPrep Writing Level Two How would you correct it?
On July 19th at 20:30H, at St. Matthews Hospital, Kim Sapno, 14 year old girl admitted in emergency room accompanied by her mother. She had a complained of right lower abdominal pain.
Try rewriting these sentences before you click on read more to see some of my suggestions. Which do you prefer and why?
Did you identify the over use of commas? What about the collocation error?
Here are my suggestions:
- On July 19th at 20:30H at St. Matthews Hospital, a 14 year old girl was admitted to ER accompanied by her mother. Kim Sapno had a chief complaint of lower abdominal pain.
- On July 19th at 20:30H at St. Matthews Hospital a 14 year old girl, Kim Sapno, was admitted to ER. Patient was accompanied by her mother. Her chief complaint was pain in her lower right abdomen.
- On July 19th at 20:30H at St. Matthews Hospital, a 14 year old girl named Kim Sapno was admitted to ER by her mother. She complained of pain in her lower right abdomen.
- Accompanied by her mother, Kim Sapno was admitted to the ER at St. Matthews Hospital on July 19th at 20:30H. Kim is 14 years old with a chief complaint of pain in the lower right quadrant of her abdomen.
Note the medical collocation, medical vocabulary, “chief complaint” used as a noun and “complained” used as a verb.
Which do you prefer and why?
Kim
Dear Kim 
Dear Maria,
Much has changed since 2012! Now in 2021 the CELBAN is now available online, the 3 attempt limit is removed, and IENs around the world can sit for the exam.
CELBANPrep has changed too! Consistent with the CELBANPrep Compassionate Pricing Policy, there is:
* CELBAN information in the Information Centre,
* CELBAN Material in the Resource Centre, and
* CELBAN online preparation courses/classes through CELBANPrep’s app-based campus.
Get a Visitor’s pass to join the FREE tour at http://www.HowToPrepareForTheCELBAN.ca.
Hope this helps! In not, feel free to contact me again.
Kim