🖊️📘📚 THE DISILLUSIONED DREAMER – ♥ I have nightmares on [CELBAN] writing. 💠

Updated 2025

|| She Writes Her Way Back to Worth ||

Hi Kim,

I’ve been reading your “Dear Kim” blog articles less than a year. I’ve contemplating to do my bridging program for RN in Alberta. I procrastinated though, due to my fear of not passing the IELTS.

Red Deer is such a nice place, it’s growing so fast. Sometimes, I like it. Sometimes, I don’t. I came here to Canada 5 years ago as an LPN from the Philippines. I used to be an RN back home. I am currently working in a busy floor, it’s a combination of Labour and Delivery, Postpartum Unit and Gastrointestinal Surgery. Once in a while we also get the not so very young. I have a permanent resident status and just recently submitted my citizenship application.

I love what I do, I know that I was born to be a nurse. Lately, our LPN scope of practice in Alberta has expanded. There are only 3 things an LPN in our unit can’t do. Be an Obstetrical Nurse, spike a blood bag and be a charge nurse. Other that than, LPNs do everything. However, we get paid less. Less than $20/hour.

I want to be honest with you, I want more. I want to get paid more on how good I am.

Does this make me a less nurse? I hope not.

I have a long history with IELTS. Back in 2007, I started taking up the test in Manila for my New Zealand application. They were requiring a band score of 7 on each modules. I took the test 9 times! You know why? Because my writing was always a band score of 6.5. So, I gave up.

I took the plunged again. I sat for IELTS exam. Even though, at the back of my mind, I should’ve taken CELBAN. My test score was L: 8.5 R: 7.5 W: 6.5 S: 7.5 Overall Band Score: 7.5. I was broken-hearted. I was 0.5 away, again.

I speak English everyday at work. I am well-read. I follow CNN newsfeed on social media and loves watching documentaries. I love travelling. I can speak with confidence and smitten anyone with my charming genuine smile, but I suck on writing.

After checking the CELBAN site that test dates and locations will be posted soon, I decided to seek your help. I promised to work hard. I borrowed all the IELTS materials I could borrow from our public library. But, I have nightmares on writing. So, could you please help me prepare for the test? I need your guidance.

Thank you for your time and I hope to talk to you soon.

F

Dear F,

Thank you for writing. Thank you for entrusting me with your story.

As I enter into your words, I feel the weight of what you carry…

your honesty, your longing, your courage.

What you’ve shared is more than a question about exams;

it’s a sacred threshold you’re standing at.

One that asks not only for effort and strategy,

but for inner reckoning and deep self-trust.

Let’s walk this together: one breath, one truth, one steady step at a time.

🜄 Return to Self

The power of naming your longing.

You’ve spoken from a place that many carry but few voice aloud:

I want more.

Not because you are greedy or ungrateful;

but, because you know your worth.

Because you love what you do.

Because you were born to nurse,

to hold life in your hands with steadiness and care.

You are not “less of a nurse” for knowing what you deserve.

Let those words settle.

You are not “less” for wanting to be paid in accordance with your skill. You are not “less” for carrying ambition.

In fact, your longing is a signal;

it’s your heart reminding you of what is still possible, still calling.

You’ve planted yourself in a new country.

You’ve offered your hands, your heart, your intellect.

You’ve stayed through hard shifts, changing protocols, uncertain futures.

And still, you are here.

Still, you are asking the question that leads toward more life.

🜁 Fog to Clarity

Let’s talk plainly about writing and exams.

You’ve taken the IELTS again and again.

Each time, the same stumbling block: Writing. A band score of 6.5.

Always just a little below what’s needed.

It’s frustrating.

It’s disheartening.

And somewhere along the way, a belief crept in quietly: I suck at writing.

But F, what if I told you; this belief is not true?

You don’t struggle with writing because you’re unintelligent or incapable.

You struggle because the system you’ve been using to prepare does not actually teach you how to write. It teaches you how to take tests. It teaches you how to memorize. It teaches format, not fluency.

Most IELTS prep materials focus on repetition: practice test after practice test, hoping the score goes up.

But what’s often missing?

Learning.

What are you actually learning when you take a test over and over again?

Are you learning grammar? Sentence structure? How to turn a weakness into a strength?

Are you receiving real, meaningful feedback? Direction? Encouragement?

No. You’re learning how to repeat, not how to grow.

CELBAN, by contrast, is built differently.

It’s designed to teach. It’s rooted in a Canadian understanding of learning: where writing isn’t about perfection, but progression.

Where the goal is clarity, professionalism, and real-world application.

And where you are given insight into your specific areas of improvement.

This is why CELBANPrep was created…not to mimic old systems,

but to invite something new:

real skill, real transformation, real success.

🜃 Rooted in Enoughness

You are already enough to begin.

What if I told you the issue isn’t that you’re bad at writing; it’s that you haven’t yet been taught in a way that meets you where you are, and walks with you, one step at a time?

At CELBANPrep, writing begins in the real world.

Level One starts with your own life—writing about what’s familiar, not what’s forced. This helps you build rhythm, grammar, flow.
Then in Level Two, we shift into the medical context. But by then, the scaffolding is already in place.

You choose your topics. You shape the stories. You set the pace.

This matters, F. It matters because your brain (the one that is so practiced in clinical precision) also needs space for creativity, imagination, and storytelling.

Writing, especially for CELBAN, calls on both hemispheres of the brain. It’s not just logic. It’s synthesis. It’s connection.

And it can be learned.

This is why we teach writing as a process.

One piece of writing, revised several times, each time with a narrow focus:

First: capitalization, punctuation, spelling
Then: articles, verbs, agreement
Then: style, structure, fluency

This is not busywork. It’s embodiment.

It’s how you go from effort to ease.

🜂 Rekindling the Inner Fire

You’ve already made the brave decision. Now keep going.

You said, “I want to get paid more for how good I am.”
And then: “Does that make me less of a nurse?”

No. It makes you awake. It makes you aligned. It makes you ready to rise.

You’ve already made the hard decision:

to try again, to seek help, to do something different.

You’ve faced your nightmares.

You’ve reached out. That is not a small thing.

From here, it’s about nurturing that inner fire:

not pushing yourself, but feeding the flame little by little,

with meaningful practice and soul-safe guidance.

Write the new sentence on your mirror:

“I can speak with confidence, and now, I write with clarity and strength.”

Let it become your new rhythm.

🜀 Standing at Zenith

Everything you need is already within you: and now, we shape it.

You’ve already succeeded in listening, reading, speaking.

Now, we focus on writing…not as a separate skill,

but as an extension of the same core strengths you already carry: precision, clarity, empathy, communication.

The CELBANPrep Writing program is not about memorizing test answers. It’s about creating a way of writing that lives in your body, not just your brain. So that when you sit for the test, you do so with presence, not panic. With calm, not chaos.

You are no longer chasing success. You are building it

breath by breath, word by word.

So yes, let’s prepare you for the exam.

But more than that, let’s prepare you to feel like a writer.

Like a nurse who is no longer doubting, but standing.

Let’s do this with depth. With soul. With structure that doesn’t rush, but regulates.

The path is here. And you are more than ready to walk it.

In reverence and deep belief in your becoming,
Kim

|| CELBAN Writing || CELBAN Incident Reports ||
|| CELBAN or IELTS || Enouragement || Mastering Your Psychology ||

Your CELBAN Journey, Tended with Care

🌿 Compassionate Pricing | Choose What’s Right for You

If you’re just getting started and need support without spending money, then explore the free e-books that are available internationally on Amazon. They are free with a Kindle Unlimited subscription which also has a free trial. Access many CELBANPrep e-books for free, anytime, using the free Kindle app (no Kindle device needed).

E-Books are available at these Amazon Marketplaces:

( FREE with Kindle Unlimited.)

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If you prefer printed materials you can write on and carry with you,
then choose the paperback versions on Amazon. They are beautifully designed for long-term study and reflection.

Paperback books are available at the following Amazon Marketplaces:

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If you’re ready for deeper, structured guidance with expert teaching,
then visit Kim’s CELBANPrep for self-paced courses and supportive video lessons.

If you’re unsure where to begin, then continue with Dear Kim : a free blog filled with insight, encouragement, and real stories from real IEHPs like you.

✨ No matter where you are on your CELBAN path, may you always find here a steady hand, a clear voice, and a meaningful next step.

P.S. You may find this chart helpful.