I have with me again this feeling of fear, completely mixed emotions because I don’t know how difficult the CELBAN exam is, or if I can make it with just one take… I guess I’m a little pessimistic and hopeless right now… How do I conquer this fear? …
Dear K,
I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling fearful, ambivalent, pessimistic and hopeless. There is an interesting phenomenon that happens when I post anything on Dear Kim that mentions fear, hopelessness or pessimism: my stats sky skyrocket. There are so many IENs feeling the exact same way, seeking the same support, encouragement and hope.
But something else has been happening. With all of the changes with the CELBAN and CELAS (and NNAS) hope has diminished exceedingly. To illustrate I went into my stats for Dear Kim for the past three years. I wanted to see if I could graphically represent hope based on readership. In the graphic below you see three years: 2012 in green, 2013 in yellow, 2014 in red.
(NOTE: these graphics are based on the school year so I removed the summer months and December.)
As you can see 2012 was the inception of Dear Kim, and readership slowly increased throughout the year. In 2013 readership remained high, with minor fluctuations. But look what happened in 2014. The year started out strong, with numbers consistent with the previous year. But then something happened in May, when the first announcements about CELAS and the CELBAN came out. 
Do you see the steady decline in readership? The stats for September, usually a peak time, were less in 2014 than the very first year, in 2012!
Let’s look at it another way.
These are the same numbers depicted in a different way. Can you see the decrease in hope?
When I created these graphics I was stunned! I could not believe that I could graphically illustrate what was happening for IENs across Canada, and around the world. Hope has deflated.
So I sent out a call to my Writing Coaches and Speaking Mentors. I wrote:
I was just reading an email that inspired this message. [quoting the message above] This feeling of ambivalence and lack of hope is at epidemic proportions right now. It is quite common for me to meet people who feel this way. But the numbers of disheartened people has increased as a result of the changes with the national administrator of the CELBAN, and the lack of exam dates. People are less than under-motivated.
In reading this email I was thinking of hosting a FREE Hope session….While I can instill hope in IENs, I believe that you have the capacity to magnify the degree of hope IENs will feel because you have been through the process, you have experience the challenges, yet you persevere.What do you say? Would you be interested, willing, to give of your time to help to lift those IENs who chose to join us? Would you be interested and willing to instill some hope?With utmost respect and regard,Kim
I replied, “I don’t want to write the rest of this message. That is exactly what I mean, ‘nobody plans or take care of the CELBAN exam right now’ … People have lost hope. They do not understand how long it takes to prepare. So they are not preparing. I don’t know if it will help… but it seemed like a good idea.’ She agreed.
hi Kim,How are you? I am interested to help lift IENs who needs hope right now. I am aware that the changes brought by the change in testing administration and procedures has made other nurses worried and full of questions. In what way could we help them?… IENs are emotional right now and they need support that we are here, we can listen to them and give time. Making them feel that they are not alone and they could have a support group online.I wish you well and I hope to hear from you soon. Take care!Love and Light, G.
Dear Kim 
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