Here is an example of an incident report written by a subscriber to CELBANPrep Writing. This is the result after several revisions. What follows is a discussion between me and the IEN who wrote the report.
Incident: 75 year old man found on the floor
On May 27th, 2012, at 9 am, Mr. Charles Browny, a 75 year old man, was found on the floor near the elevator by a visitor who called for help. Note that Mr. Browny was admitted to the medical ward 2 days ago for abdominal pain and vomiting. In his medical history, he has hypertension and diabetes.
Mr. Browny stated that he struggled with his IV line attachment and fell down when he was going to the cafeteria. He was found pale and anxious. Upon assessment, he had a red spot around 5 cm in width on his left hip and elbow. The vital signs were: BP 140/90, PR 100, RR 22, T 37ºC and his HGT was 250 mg/dl. On the pain scale from 1 to 10 where 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest his pain level was 6. Mr. Browny was assisted and transferred to his bed in room 103 by a wheel chair. The doctor on duty was informed; he ordered: right hip and elbow x-ray, Tylenol 2 tab/ 8h as needed, complete bed rest until the x-ray results. X-ray was done and Tylenol 2 tablets were given.————————————-Signed by AA RN.
At 10 am, the x-ray results were normal and the pain level decreased to 4/10. The doctor on duty was informed; the patient stayed in his room for further investigation upon doctor’s order. ——————————-Signed by AA RN.
Amazing report. Although I have identified a few errors, you have done excessively well. I am particularly proud of your advanced punctuation. I had to think, slow down and pay attention. When I realized you had used both a colon and semi-colon correctly in the same sentence I felt so impressed… I am still smiling! I know very few native English speakers/writers that can do what you did!
Also excellent use of the pain scale and of documenting the vitals.
I also love your note, explaining the difference in dates.
Thanks Kim for your feedback and encouragement! I always love what your comments.A.
About the comments, you are welcome. I am still so impressed! I actually cover semi-colons with a very small group of people taking CELBANPrep, those who are advanced. It is too risky to use incorrectly.
You are such a strong writer, and to be managing so many languages is a testament of your skills and abilities… all while taking care of your family and a baby. I hope that you see improvements and are happy with your rate of growth.
Yes, I am really happy and I can see lots of improvements. Beside this, You always makes me feel more confident and less stressful with your feedback. I hope to pass the Celban Test and start the next step.
It is easy to give positive feedback and comments to you, when you came to me with such great skills and capabilities.
What patterns have you seen, and how will this help you when you are editing?
I pay more attention for grammar and for the form of the sentence. Also, I always check my punctuation when I edit. Beside this, I learned some idioms and how to use “the” correctly. I try to correct as much as I can! When I started Celbanprep the editing was taking with me 10 to 15min, but now with practice, it is taking around 5 min or less.
Thanks Kim for all your help and support and for your believe in my skills and capabilities.
God bless you and stay with you to help all the IENs.
Wonderful wonderful news! I am so glad I have taught you something. You started with so much. If you could decrease your editing to 5 minutes, that is amazing!
There are two things I do with CELBANPrep Writing:
- Teach people how to identify their own personal errors, and how to correct them.
- Teach people how to write in a timed situation.
I know that when people develop these skills they can perform to the best of their abilities on the Writing portion of the CELBAN. It is profound to me that you were able to do both, at an advanced level. Your story, your experiences, honour my work in creating CELBANPrep.
- It illustrates both the process of the CELBANPrep Method and the efficiency of CELBANPrep Writing Level One and Two TOGETHER!
- With the title of encouragement this post has been read 5757.
What that tells me is the deep need in the Internationally Educated Nurses community for hope, light and encouragement. And while I am no longer teaching CELBANPrep I have two offerings:
- I have created the CELBANPrep Textbooks in a way that you can find a tutor/teacher/guide locally who can assist you in your preparations. Where courses ran at over $500, these resources are now available for less than $100. Thus they are more affordable and accessible.
- I continue to provide encouragement to not only Internationally Educated Nurses but also all Internationally Educated Professionals through my Dear Kim Series. If you are interested, please buy a membership so that I can send you information and create tour dates.